She's young and in love with a boy. Completely caught up in a storm of emotion and feelings never felt before. Her mind and heart are consumed by this. Her love for God is fading quickly. Her priorities are rearranging. God is slowly being lowered on her list. She's stuck in sin, in lust, in idolatry. She is slowly more disrespected by this boy, and eventually disrespects herself and the boy in return. She has momentary satisfaction, but no secure joy is present. She feels a void, one that this "love" cannot ever seem to fill. The relationship has taken a sudden turn for the worse. It has ended. She's broken and feels despair. The promises made to her have been broken. Her planned out future is now crushed and quickly fading. She gave away so much emotionally, so much spiritually and physically. "What love is this?" her heart cries out. "That he would not love me so?"
Who is she?
She's young and in love with Jesus. Continually reminded of His love and grace, of His patience and mercy. She is consumed by His goodness and faithfulness, willing to give up everything for her King and Lord. Her love for God is growing rapidly, like never before. Her priorities are rearranging. God is becoming her number one, her all in all. She is fleeing from sin, she is finding freedom through the strength of God. She is respected, and respected by herself. She is understanding what true joy looks and feels like. She is discovering the treasures, eternal treasures, offered by Christ. She does not feel any void, but rather, she is whole and complete because of her Prince, Jesus. Day by day, her relationship with Jesus grows brighter and brighter, deeper and deeper. She trusts in her promise-fulfilling Savior, knowing that He is the same yesterday, today and forever. She no longer plans her steps, but rather, let's the Master Planner be her guide. She has let go of her dreams, her desires, and has placed them at the foot of the cross, so that she may accept whatever plans Jesus has created for her while letting go of her own. She has given away all of her heart, all of her mind, body, and spirit as a living sacrifice to her forever faithful Jesus. "What love is this?" her heart cries out."That He should love me so?"
Who is she?
Both of these are accurate descriptions of me.
Accurate descriptions of me at two very different times in my life.
One being seven months ago, one being now.
Can you take a guess at which description belongs at which time?
I was thinking long and hard about what my first post in this series would be about.
"What is the most important thing in all of what I'm going to write about?" was my thought.
"What is the most important thing in all of what I'm going to write about?" was my thought.
And this is where the struggle begins. For me. For you. For anyone and everyone seeking to follow Jesus.
It's letting go of your dreams, your desires, your wants, your "needs".
It's saying God, whatever your will for me is, then let that will be. "Not my will, but thine, be done."
The whole purpose of this series is to talk about preparing for the guy that God may have in your future. What is not a better way to start out than saying to God that you give this part of your life, (hopefully along with every other part), to Him. If you ever want a beautifully scripted love story, if you ever want a love story more amazing than you can imagine, you need to leave it up to God. Any love story without God's hand is second rate. Let me tell you why.
Let's go back to the first description I listed at the beginning of this post. Take a good long look at what I wrote. Would you want that to be you? I should hope not. Let's take it a step further. Not only was I planning my future according to the way I THOUGHT I wanted my life to be, but I was giving up any plans that God would have for me. I was basically saying, God, my plans are better, and more joyful, and more awesome. But look at what I wrote. Was I joyful? Were my plans really better? They weren't. I was forfeiting any real, true joy. If God were to ever use me for amazing things, I was saying no to them, because I thought I knew better than Him. As days go by, I realize what a blessing it was that God broke that relationship up. It was a path that neither I or the guy truly wanted. It was what our sin and selfishness wanted. It was a path that was leading to destruction, to pain and sorrow. While we thought we were sowing such happiness, such love and future joy, we were wrong. We were only sowing heartache, pain, and regret, and that's exactly what we reaped.
A while back, in one of my blog posts, I wrote a little about a time long ago in my life, when I was several years younger. I had cried out a plea to God that I wanted to live a life fully given to Him, a life that rose above the mediocre Christianity that is so prominent today. I said God, that's not the life I want to live. I want my life to show that I'm giving everything to YOU! I want YOU to be the center of my life, where all my meaning and purpose derives from.
I believe that day was monumental in my life, and now that I think back about it and back on my relationship with the boy, especially when it ended, I realize that God was answering that prayer of mine, even though along with it came heartache and pain. While I wanted to love and be loved by the boy, God knew that that's not what was going to truly fulfill me - because only HE can. And praise God that He intervened when He did. While I suffered so much heartache and regret, I can't even imagine the heartache that God saved me from!
Referring back to the point of this first part in the series, all the while, for the duration of this relationship I had, I had taken away the pen from God. Rather than letting Him write me a beautiful and incredible love story, I was trying to write it myself. And how terribly I was doing! If you ever want to have a truly beautiful love story, you need to let God be the creator of it. You need to let Him have full reign - not just a little or even a lot. He needs to have it ALL!
We constantly try to have control, try to be the leader in this part of our lives. And I understand, it's really hard not to! It's so easy to assume or think that our planning is better, or "so romantic". But when we do this, all we are really doing is settling for less. We are settling for this world's best, and saying that God's best is somehow not as good, or as fulfilling. What falsehood this is!
I can't stress it enough how important it is to trust God in this area of your life. I know the world is telling you that you "need" a boyfriend, or that you may even feel you're not complete without a guy, but both of these are wrong! Christ is and should be your ALL IN ALL!
If you are still gripping onto this part of your life, I encourage you to let go and let God. Sometimes we worry that if we do this, God is going to bring someone who we don't find attractive, or that we don't find interesting, etc. But if you are truly honest with yourself, would God do that? Does God want you to be unhappy? No!
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11
I decided that along with what I write, I'll recommend a helpful book or video or some little tidbit.
If you are really struggling with letting go and letting God then I highly encourage you to read:
"When God Writes Your Love Story" by Eric and Leslie Ludy
If you know me IRL, then feel free to ask to borrow it... :)
And along with that I'll leave you with this:
Click here to hear a beautiful love story told by Leslie Ludy!
"What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ."
Philippians 3:8
Click HERE for the next part in the series! (Modest is Hottest)
I can't stress it enough how important it is to trust God in this area of your life. I know the world is telling you that you "need" a boyfriend, or that you may even feel you're not complete without a guy, but both of these are wrong! Christ is and should be your ALL IN ALL!
If you are still gripping onto this part of your life, I encourage you to let go and let God. Sometimes we worry that if we do this, God is going to bring someone who we don't find attractive, or that we don't find interesting, etc. But if you are truly honest with yourself, would God do that? Does God want you to be unhappy? No!
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11
I decided that along with what I write, I'll recommend a helpful book or video or some little tidbit.
If you are really struggling with letting go and letting God then I highly encourage you to read:
"When God Writes Your Love Story" by Eric and Leslie Ludy
If you know me IRL, then feel free to ask to borrow it... :)
And along with that I'll leave you with this:
Click here to hear a beautiful love story told by Leslie Ludy!
"What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ."
Philippians 3:8
Click HERE for the next part in the series! (Modest is Hottest)
Thank you so much for your honesty. Your story is one I can relate to, and I really appreciate knowing there is another Christian female who has also compromised her relationship with Jesus to find fulfillment in a boy, trying to please a person rather than please God. I really appreciate your blog. Keep the truth flowing!
ReplyDeleteThat breaks my heart to hear. :( I wish I could give you a hug! I understand how painful things like that can be.
ReplyDeleteHang in there girl, God is truly amazing and will certainly work through your situation if you continue to pursue Him and be completely devoted to Him. :)
I will say that sometimes still I get those heart aching thoughts that I will be miserable forever, or perhaps that I'll never fully and truly move on. It's really scary for me sometimes to think that.... but then I say, wait a minute! That can't be right. I will see the glorious light of Jesus shine through this darkness eventually. God says He is faithful... and if I'm loving Him and depending on Him, He can and will do great things. :) God means what He says! He won't break his promises to me, or to you.
And now I've practically written another blog post in response to you, haha. :)
Ultimately, please be encouraged by God's word!
Romans 8:28
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."
Philippians 1:6
"Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."
:)