Preparing for Prince Charming - Who Is She?

She's young and in love with a boy. Completely caught up in a storm of emotion and feelings never felt before. Her mind and heart are consumed by this. Her love for God is fading quickly. Her priorities are rearranging. God is slowly being lowered on her list. She's stuck in sin, in lust, in idolatry. She is slowly more disrespected by this boy, and eventually disrespects herself and the boy in return. She has momentary satisfaction, but no secure joy is present. She feels a void, one that this "love" cannot ever seem to fill. The relationship has taken a sudden turn for the worse. It has ended. She's broken and feels despair. The promises made to her have been broken. Her planned out future is now crushed and quickly fading. She gave away so much emotionally, so much spiritually and physically. "What love is this?" her heart cries out. "That he would not love me so?"

Who is she?

She's young and in love with Jesus. Continually reminded of His love and grace, of His patience and mercy. She is consumed by His goodness and faithfulness, willing to give up everything for her King and Lord. Her love for God is growing rapidly, like never before. Her priorities are rearranging. God is becoming her number one, her all in all. She is fleeing from sin, she is finding freedom through the strength of God. She is respected, and respected by herself. She is understanding what true joy looks and feels like. She is discovering the treasures, eternal treasures, offered by Christ. She does not feel any void, but rather, she is whole and complete because of her Prince, Jesus. Day by day, her relationship with Jesus grows brighter and brighter, deeper and deeper. She trusts in her promise-fulfilling Savior, knowing that He is the same yesterday, today and forever. She no longer plans her steps, but rather, let's the Master Planner be her guide. She has let go of her dreams, her desires, and has placed them at the foot of the cross, so that she may accept whatever plans Jesus has created for her while letting go of her own. She has given away all of her heart, all of her mind, body, and spirit as a living sacrifice to her forever faithful Jesus. "What love is this?" her heart cries out."That He should love me so?"

Who is she?

Both of these are accurate descriptions of me.

Accurate descriptions of me at two very different times in my life.

One being seven months ago, one being now.

Can you take a guess at which description belongs at which time?

I was thinking long and hard about what my first post in this series would be about.
"What is the most important thing in all of what I'm going to write about?" was my thought.

And this is where the struggle begins. For me. For you. For anyone and everyone seeking to follow Jesus.

It's letting go of your dreams, your desires, your wants, your "needs".

It's saying God, whatever your will for me is, then let that will be. "Not my will, but thine, be done."

The whole purpose of this series is to talk about preparing for the guy that God may have in your future. What is not a better way to start out than saying to God that you give this part of your life, (hopefully along with every other part), to Him. If you ever want a beautifully scripted love story, if you ever want a love story more amazing than you can imagine, you need to leave it up to God. Any love story without God's hand is second rate. Let me tell you why.

Let's go back to the first description I listed at the beginning of this post. Take a good long look at what I wrote. Would you want that to be you? I should hope not. Let's take it a step further. Not only was I planning my future according to the way I THOUGHT I wanted my life to be, but I was giving up any plans that God would have for me. I was basically saying, God, my plans are better, and more joyful, and more awesome. But look at what I wrote. Was I joyful? Were my plans really better? They weren't. I was forfeiting any real, true joy. If God were to ever use me for amazing things, I was saying no to them, because I thought I knew better than Him. As days go by, I realize what a blessing it was that God broke that relationship up. It was a path that neither I or the guy truly wanted. It was what our sin and selfishness wanted. It was a path that was leading to destruction, to pain and sorrow. While we thought we were sowing such happiness, such love and future joy, we were wrong. We were only sowing heartache, pain, and regret, and that's exactly what we reaped.

A while back, in one of my blog posts, I wrote a little about a time long ago in my life, when I was several years younger. I had cried out a plea to God that I wanted to live a life fully given to Him, a life that rose above the mediocre Christianity that is so prominent today. I said God, that's not the life I want to live. I want my life to show that I'm giving everything to YOU! I want YOU to be the center of my life, where all my meaning and purpose derives from.

I believe that day was monumental in my life, and now that I think back about it and back on my relationship with the boy, especially when it ended, I realize that God was answering that prayer of mine, even though along with it came heartache and pain. While I wanted to love and be loved by the boy, God knew that that's not what was going to truly fulfill me - because only HE can. And praise God that He intervened when He did. While I suffered so much heartache and regret, I can't even imagine the heartache that God saved me from!

Referring back to the point of this first part in the series, all the while, for the duration of this relationship I had, I had taken away the pen from God. Rather than letting Him write me a beautiful and incredible love story, I was trying to write it myself. And how terribly I was doing! If you ever want to have a truly beautiful love story, you need to let God be the creator of it. You need to let Him have full reign - not just a little or even a lot. He needs to have it ALL!

We constantly try to have control, try to be the leader in this part of our lives. And I understand, it's really hard not to! It's so easy to assume or think that our planning is better, or "so romantic". But when we do this, all we are really doing is settling for less. We are settling for this world's best, and saying that God's best is somehow not as good, or as fulfilling. What falsehood this is!

I can't stress it enough how important it is to trust God in this area of your life. I know the world is telling you that you "need" a boyfriend, or that you may even feel you're not complete without a guy, but both of these are wrong! Christ is and should be your ALL IN ALL!

If you are still gripping onto this part of your life, I encourage you to let go and let God. Sometimes we worry that if we do this, God is going to bring someone who we don't find attractive, or that we don't find interesting, etc. But if you are truly honest with yourself, would God do that? Does God want you to be unhappy? No!

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11

I decided that along with what I write, I'll recommend a helpful book or video or some little tidbit.

If you are really struggling with letting go and letting God then I highly encourage you to read:

"When God Writes Your Love Story" by Eric and Leslie Ludy
If you know me IRL, then feel free to ask to borrow it... :)

And along with that I'll leave you with this:

Click here to hear a beautiful love story told by Leslie Ludy!

"What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ."
Philippians 3:8
Click HERE for the next part in the series! (Modest is Hottest)

Preparing for Prince Charming - An Upcoming Series

Part 1 (Surrendering your Love Story to God) is out! Read it by clicking here!
Part 2 (Modest is Hottest) is out! Read it by clicking here!

Note: This is created by a young lady, with young ladies in mind. In other words, if you're a guy, remember, it's not directed toward you. However, you could very easily morph it a bit to make it applicable.

The other night I was reading Proverbs. I came across Proverbs 12:4,

"A wife of noble character is her husband's crown,
but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones."

This is actually a picture of a fairly new married
couple who are youth leaders at my church. :)
Aren't they just adorable!?

I've certainly read this verse before, but suddenly it struck me as much more powerful. Obviously, I am not a wife, nor do I have a husband. Nevertheless, I do have somewhat of a desire to be married one day, if the Lord wills. Will I be a wife of noble character? Will I be my husband's CROWN? I sure hope so! I bet you would like to as well!

At one point I was in a relationship, which lasted for quite a while. I think I learned more from it after it ended rather than while it was happening. Consequently, my mind is constantly reflecting and revising where I went wrong, what I did right, and what I can do better. With the combination of my thoughts on Proverbs 12:4 and this as well, I've decided to share some of my experience through a series of blog posts over the next five or six weeks. Post will be all about guys and my opinion on waiting, guarding your heart, being treated with respect, purity and much more!

I really believe that guys (along with beauty) are at the top of the list when dealing with the most prominent issues girls deal with everyday. I'm excited to encourage, motivate, and ultimately challenge my fellow sisters in Christ to live a life more pleasing to God, especially in such an area as guys!

It can be difficult, and sometimes we would prefer to "be in control" of this area of our lives, but if we truly have given up our reign over our lives to Christ and desire to live for Him, then it includes this area as well. It takes trust and faith, but God is faithful - yesterday, today and tomorrow! It's something I am continually working on as well... so don't feel alone. :)

I will try to create a post once a week. I don't want it too often, as I want time to create a thoughtful and God pleasing post, as well as time for the reader to reflect and ponder the concept presented. This is just an introduction, so look forward to next week when I create the first actual post!

I'm excited! I hope you are too. :)

Do you have a topic you'd like me to write about in regards to this series? Or maybe you just have a question relating to guys? Feel free to leave a comment or email me at: beautifullyselfless@yahoo.com
I'd love to hear from you!

So there's this guy..

Photo credit belongs to Holly Lueers. :)

I have a secret. :)

There's this guy in my life. -blushes-

He's amazing. 

I can't even begin to describe how good He is to me. I don't deserve Him! His love for me is incomparable to any other guys. He constantly melts my heart with His goodness and compassion. He always forgives me when I mess up and never ceases to listen to me. He encourages me daily and builds me up. He is someone who I know will always be there for me, through good and bad - thick and thin. Did you know you can share in His love too?

 Girl say what!?

Yeah, you heard me!

If you haven't figured it out yet, I'm talking about my sweet Prince Jesus. :)

His love is so refreshing and unchanging. 

"The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying:   
“I have loved you with an everlasting love;
   I have drawn you with unfailing kindness."

Jeremiah 31:3

 

So why is it that His love to us constantly seems not enough? Why is it so often that we find ourselves in search of earthly guy love and attention? There are many reasons, but I think when it boils down to it, it's because we are forgetful. We often forget that we do not need a guy's love or attention to make us complete and have a fulfilled life. It's tempting and our emotions can pull us in all sorts of directions away from Jesus. I've been there, done that. It never fills though. It never is enough. There is still a void, a gap. A whole in our hearts longing to be filled with everlasting love. 

More recently, I have found myself in various conversations relating to guys. It has actually started to bug me! Why can't we be happy with JUST our Jesus? Whatever happened to waiting on God's timing for love in our lives? Whatever happened to soaking up our singleness and taking advantage of it, using it as a time to grow closer to Jesus and deeper in love with our Savior? Instead we become miserable, we view it as suffering, we are impatient and must get what we "need"! We keep searching and waiting for that special guy to come along all the while forgetting that that "special guy" came for us a long time ago. Have you forgotten about your Prince Jesus?

My challenge to you: Don't waste your time waiting around for a guy to appear in your life, and instead focus on the Prince that has been in your life ever since you were born (and before that)! Hold fast to Jesus and never let go of your first True Love. I know there are times when you will feel lonely and wish that there was an earthly prince there to hold and comfort you, I feel that sometimes too! Even though we may forget about Jesus and His love, He certainly never forgets about us! He knows your longings and your hearts desires, but you have to trust in Him and wait on His timing, not your own.

 

" For you created my inmost being;
   you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
   your works are wonderful,
   I know that full well.
 My frame was not hidden from you
   when I was made in the secret place,
   when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
   all the days ordained for me were written in your book
   before one of them came to be."

-Psalm 139:13-16

Note: If you're a guy, I encourage you to do the same. Wait on God's timing for Him to bring that special lady into your life! Until then, run after Jesus with all that you are and seek first His will for your life. :)

My Prince Will Come and So Will Yours!

Tall, dark and handsome... Chocolate brown hair and a smile you just can't seem to resist. Or perhaps you're more for the sandy blonde with that certain color shade of eyes that just reach out and grab you! Either way, he's drop dead gorgeous, strong, manly and seeks to win over your heart! Just in case you're lost, let me fill ya in! We're talking about that "Prince Charming" which I'm certain all of you reading, whether knowingly or subconsciously, dream about from time to time.

As girls, I know our hearts seem to want the same when it comes to our future Prince Charming. We want a guy who will truly love us for who we are, who will be there for us, who will listen and understand, one that will not abandon us but be willing to love us enough to put us above his own desires. One who will be strong and take care of us all the days of our life. I know in today's world it's easy to see this "ideal" picture and then think "Yeah, whatever, this guy doesn't exist anymore. Most guys are just jerks!" And hey, I won't lie... there are a lot of not-so-good-guys in this world, but this note isn't to bash on them!

But did you know there's already a Prince Charming who does all these things and feels all these things for you? No, I'm not kidding! There really is! His name is Jesus Christ if you didn't already know. :) Okay now.. you may be thinking whoooa what?? I thought we were talking about guys! Like Earthly human guys?! And yes! We were... but before we talk about them, there's a very important thing I want you to understand!

Jesus Christ is your FIRST "Prince Charming". Remember earlier when I listed all those qualities that we like to see in a guy but have trouble finding them? Well... Did you ever think maybe we dream for all those qualities in a guy because those are all the qualities Jesus has? Interesting thought, isn't it! I'm pretty sure God designed our hearts to aim and wish for a guy like that because that's what He is like!

In order for you to have the best relationship with a guy in this world, you must first develop a deep and loving relationship with Jesus! By doing this it will help you:

1. Keep your priorities straight and remember that Jesus is your first love and that your relationship with him is the most important relationship ever!

2. Grow spiritually so that when you do meet your (earthly) Prince Charming, you'll be prepared enough to have a relationship with him.

3. In those times when you feel lonely, you can remember that you have Jesus! He is the only one who can truly satisfy you AND He is the one who loves you more than anyone could ever even imagine!

4. It will give you wisdom and help keep you out of potentially bad relationships that would only leave you heartbroken and hurt!

And there are still so many other reasons why keeping Jesus first is one of the best decisions you could ever make!

Above all, if you REALLY do want to find that earthly Prince Charming, then trusting it with Jesus is the only way you will find him! Why is that? Because Jesus knows your heart and your desires better than you do! Would you say that you know Facebook better than Mark Zuckerberg (creator of Facebook)? No, of course you wouldn't, because you didn't design it.. you just use it! Same with us, God created us; therefore, he knows us best! By putting all of your complete trust and hope in Jesus, in time when you are ready, he will bring along your Prince Charming! :)

Psalm 139: 13-16 says: "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."

A.W. Tozer once said, "The man who has God for his treasure has all things in One."

Maybe this thought has crossed your mind.. "What if Jesus never brings me my Prince Charming? What if I end up SINGLE ALL MY LIFE! AND END UP DYING ALONE WITH 392 CATS?!?!" Okay okay, take a deep breath! I don't think it's possible for anyone to have 392 cats anyway! Jesus may have a life of singleness for you, he may have a life of singleness for me! One can never really be sure. I will say that the single life is certainly a blessing because you will still spend your life with the Prince Charming who loves you most, Jesus. He will always be with you and always love you.... in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. Jesus is our bridegroom whether we end up getting married on Earth or not. What is our goal here on Earth as followers of Jesus Christ? To glorify Him. With that being true, even though it may be difficult to understand, even if God does give you the gift of having a life of singleness, you being single was how you were able to glorify Him and fulfill His plan the most! Feel special to have such a place in God's plan, even if sometimes it is difficult and painful.

In 1 Corinthians 7:32-35 Paul wrote: "I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord."

After all that.. you're probably wondering well, should I do anything in the meantime? Yes! You can and SHOULD do things while you're waiting for your Prince Charming!

The season of singleness is not a curse... it's actually a great advantage! In this season, it's just you and God.

This gives you:

-the opportunity to grow spiritually and develop

-it gives you time to have many MANY opportunities to do things that you would not be able to do if you were in a relationship because you have those restrictions

-Remember when I said you're looking for a guy who represents all those qualities? Well guess what! That guy out there is probably looking for a Godly girl that has all the qualities a woman should have! The season of singleness gives you the opportunity to practice and prepare to be a wife, mother, etc. So take advantage of it! :)

Proverbs 31: 10-12 says: "A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life."

Did anything about that verse stand out to you? Notice the last part... "She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life." ALL the days of her life! Whoa! That doesn't mean she brings him good after they're married... no, it means from the earliest time possible in her life she should try to bring him good. Now you may be wondering, how do I bring good to a guy I don't even know or if I don't even know if he exists! Here are some simple yet great ideas to keep your future man in mind while you're waiting!

1. Get out a piece of paper and write down the top 10 qualities or things you want in your guy! Keep this list and you may be surprised that someday God will fulfill each and every one of them! Also, don't be afraid to make a list of high standards and rarer qualities.... though it may get discouraging at times when you see this guy is hard to find... keep following it! You'll appreciate your Prince Charming all the more when God sends him your way. :)

2. Buy a journal and write to your future husband! You can write prayers, or thoughts, whatever you want! It can be encouraging and someday when you get married, you can show him that you thought about him even before you knew him! It will be a true sign of your genuine and great love for him!

3. I've read A LOT of books that deal with this subject. Just a few I'd like to recommend: "When God Writes Your Love Story" by Eric and Leslie Ludy; "And The Bride Wore White" by Dannah Gresh; "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris. Check out these books! Especially the first one.. It's been such a helpful tool to me and I'm sure it could be for you too! :)

George Mueller once said, "Be assured, if you walk with Him and look to Him and expect help from Him, He will never fail you."

Mueller is right, God will never fail you! So keep trekking along beautiful ladies, because God has YOUR best in mind. The journey that leads up to meeting your Prince Charming may be difficult, lonely and just plain painful at times.... but the joy in Christ and the joy through his future blessing of marriage will be worth all those lonely nights!

Psalm 18:30 - "As for God, his way is perfect"