It was only a few years ago that you would have found me in a bikini during the summer. I remember my Dad always "getting on my case" about my swimsuits. And on the outside I would try to brush it off, but on the inside, I would be frustrated. "Why does he always have to bring it up? Who cares what I wear!"
For the most part, swimsuits were the only area where I really dressed immodestly. My parents had set up standards of how short my shorts could be, or how low my shirts could be. For the most part, I abided by these rules, though inside, I had a bit of jealousy of girls for the things that I was not permitted to wear. "But they're SO CUTE, is it really that big of a deal?"
Somewhere between the ages of 14 and 15, I suddenly changed my mind. It was probably by the grace of God. Suddenly, I was no longer comfortable with wearing bikini's. I no longer had a desire to wear short shorts, or scandalous tank tops. In fact, since then I've grown more passionate and honestly, slightly irritated with those who profess to know Christ, but their clothing says otherwise.
You can tell a lot about a girl by the things she wears. It shows whether or not she really cares for her brothers in Christ, it shows whether or not she truly respects her body. It shows whether or not she agrees with God's standard. It can show where her heart is truly at.
There have been times when I am so perplexed at how a girl, who I know is not worldly or at least I don't think she is, dresses immodestly! For me, it's really discouraging.
So with a mix of frustration, irritation and discouragement, I decided that bringing up modesty would be important!
Why is modesty important?
Like I mentioned earlier, your wardrobe speaks volumes about where your heart is at. It shows whether or not you truly treat your body as a temple of Christ and if you put your brothers in Christ above your own desires in regards to clothing.
Let me just be honest with you ladies.
Let's say it's God's will for me to get married, that means my husband is out there somewhere. And guess what? I'm sure he sees girls and perhaps a little too much skin. You know what that means? That means my husband is seeing a little too much of your body, and you know what, I'm not too happy about that. It goes both ways, not only is my husband seeing parts of your body, but every other guy is seeing parts of your body, how do you think your future husband might feel about that? Are you truly loving your future husband by what you wear?
Please don't try to justify it by saying: "Well it's not my fault that guys look at me. It's their problem."
There are so many things wrong with that. It's no wonder they look at you, especially when you have half of your body on display. On top of that, if you truly love God and the decrees of God, then you should also love your brother's in Christ, and would at least try to understand the difficulty it is for guys because they think differently than us.
Another important thing - We all want a mighty, valiant, and Jesus loving Prince Charming, don't we? Do you think you're attracting guys who fit that description by what you wear? Do you think that a guy who truly loves and is devoted to Jesus would want a girl who flaunts or shows off her body? I should hope not!
Don't get me wrong - I understand the difficulty in dressing modest. I know there are a lot of trends out there that don't teach modesty, but let me remind you: If you truly love God and desire to glorify Him in all things, then modesty is included in this as well. If we want to love God and serve Him, then we have to let go of our sinful desires that tell us it's okay to dress immodestly, or that it's not our problem if guys stumble.
Man's word alone is not enough though, here's what the Bible says:
"..in like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, but which is proper for women professing godliness with good works,”
1 Timothy 2:9-10
“As a ring of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a lovely woman who lacks discretion.”
Proverbs 11:22
"Let us not judge one another anymore but rather resolve this, not to put a stumbling block or a cause to fall in our brother’s way.”
Romans 14:13
Remember, modesty goes beyond skin deep. In fact, modesty is an attitude of the heart. If you truly are satisfied in Christ, then you will be fulfilled enough to not have concerns about trying to display your body for attention or "love" from guys.
I think a problem that we have as girls in regards to dressing modestly is that we think guys don't appreciate it, or that it really doesn't make a difference. But, you're wrong, I promise! There are many guys out there who appreciate a modest girl. Here are what a few of these guys had to say:
"Modest girls are always more pretty to me than immodest girls. An immodest girl might be really pretty but her actions are ugly and they cancel out her natural beauty, making her ugly. A modest girl is pretty not only in looks but in actions and deeds and
that is the type of girl I like to be around."
(Age 13)
"As a Christian guy, modesty is SO attractive. I don't mean attractive in a lustful way,
but that to see a girl living out God's standards in her life really is beautiful. And you have no idea just how much you would be helping your Christian brothers by being modest. We're not trying to blame you for our impurity, that's between us and God, but you can do so much to encourage and help us in our battle by being modest."
(Age 16)
"It means SO MUCH! It's not just that we respect you more, there is even an attraction to girls who dress modestly. I don't want to marry someone who is dressed immodestly all the time.
I want to marry someone who I've noticed dresses modestly and has a concern for modesty. Don't ever think that it goes unnoticed.
Guys notice, and guys are so grateful."
(Age 17)
"Dearest sister: God made you a thing of beauty. A thing to be admired and respected. When you dress or act in a way that draws attention to your body, you make it easy for the guys around you to reduce you to the level of a disgusting toy - using you to mentally satisfy their fantasies. They stop thinking about your Godly qualities and immerse themselves in sinful thought. By dressing and acting modestly, you draw attention to your face instead of your body.
Your body may be alluring, but your face - those deep, mysterious eyes and smiling mouth - is infinitely more beautiful than any amount of revealing dress. Would you rather be the tool by which guys satisfy themselves or the beautiful thing God created you to be, pure for your husband? My flesh prefers the former, but my heart pleads for the latter."
(Age 17)
"As Christian girls, I'm sure that there is a lot of pressure from the world that in order to look attractive you have to dress immodestly. I would just like to say that as a guy,
I find it far more attractive to see a girl, modestly dressed because that is making a very positive statement about her character. Guys who think that you have to dress immodestly to look good, are guys who probably aren't interested in anything besides your looks. So I would like the girls to know that
modesty is very attractive and more than that, it is a way to bring glory to God through your appearance."
(Age 21)
Now wouldn't you want a guy who says that rather than a guy who tries to tell you or tries to make you feel that you have to dress immodestly to be good enough, beautiful or even worthy of love?
All quotes came from the Modesty Survey. The Modesty Survey was designed and created by Alex and Brett Harris, writers of "Do Hard Things" and younger twin brothers of Joshua Harris, writer of "I Kissed Dating Good-bye" and "Dug Down Deep". The survey is actually really neat and has helped me a bit with my own wardrobe. They took a survey of a few thousand Jesus loving guys, from all ages and all over the country. The guys were asked a series of questions relating to clothing and whether it's modest. The guys could respond with "Strongly Agree", "Agree", "Neutral", "Disagree", or "Strongly Disagree".
I highly encourage you to check out this survey and hopefully let it edify you and your wardrobe!
You can check it out by clicking
HERE! When the site comes up, just click on one of the categories to see the questions guys were asked, their response and scroll down to see their own personal comments about the topic.
Remember girls, modest is hottest! :)
Notes:
I wanted to say that I understand being modest is hard. With my change in wardrobe in regards to my bathing suit, I received some highly discouraging comments from people, even in my own family. This can be very discouraging. No one ever said being a Christian and living devoted to God would be easy, in fact, it requires making many sacrifices. But I want you to know that it's so worth it to know that through my modesty, I am making a bigger difference then one may think. Not only am I pleasing God but I am enabling and helping to aid guys to remain pure in their thoughts and deeds. To me, this is encouraging and is worth far more than any one article of clothing, or even the world's opinion of me. Please know that you're not alone in your journey of modesty!
Also, I'm sorry I neglected to make a post last week, as a result, I will be making two posts this week. I will have another one up by the end of this week hopefully.
Other parts of the "Preparing for Prince Charming Series"
Preparing for Prince Charming - Introduction
Preparing for Prince Charming - Who is She? (Surrending your love story to God)
