Preparing for Prince Charming - "Once Upon a Mistake"

My "What was I thinking?!?!" face

Once upon a mistake, there was a girl named Rachel (AKA me) and a boy who we'll call Nate. Some time ago I discovered that this 'Nate' had a certain liking for me. Being a girl, my normal reaction was a complete spaz attack at that thought that someone actually had interest in someone like me. Without involving the entire story, by the time I discovered this and knew for sure, Nate had seemingly let his feelings die and there was entirely NOTHING between us.

So me, being a person of initiative (which sometimes I regret...), decided to try to pursue a friendship with him (Why do I do things like this...?). Intially, my mindset was that, oh hey you know, I'll just get the ball rolling and if it's meant to be anything, he'll do the rest. Needless to say, after continuing attempts of real life conversation, Facebook conversation, (this is where I hang my head in shame) and me even getting his number , it didn't really work out.

It was a complete fail. (Which I am now glad.. but I'll get to that later!) He was so unresponsive. Nate did not initiate anything himself. It frustrated me. Why did he not even want a friendship? What was the problem anyway? It wasn't even necessarily that I wanted anything beyond a simple friendship, I just wanted to get to know the guy. Yet for some reason, no matter what I did, it just wasn't working.

After a couple weeks, I decided that I was foolish, really dumb and questioned why I ever tried to do anything like it! It was basically a facepalm moment (refer to the picture at the beginning of the post).

Time passed by and slowly I learned more about his character. More and more I realized that it wasn't something I was pleased with, and occasionally found myself highly appalled.

More recently, I discovered an entire new side of this person's character. I was in complete shock. "How could I have ever found any interest in a guy who is like this?"
I was really disappointed; nevertheless, I found reason for thankfulness and praise.

There are times when we really want something. We think it's good, or so it seems. So we pray about it, and pray about it, and pray some more. Yet it just isn't working out, there's something about it just not clicking right. And due to my lacking in ability to see the whole picture which only God can see, I felt confused and kind of disappointed that my original plan of friendship had failed.

Looking back on it all, I am SO thankful that God didn't respond the way I wanted him to. If we knew how many times God saves us from pain or at the very least, the effects of poor decision making, I think we'd be all the more thankful to Him.

So what's the point of this post anyway? Don't pursue a guy. Please, just don't. Do you want to end up like me? Trust me, no. Pursuing is a problem I have as a girl, due to my constant reaction of wanting to take initiative, but let me just tell you! Initiative is NOT good in this area! And for so many reasons.

1. By pursuing a guy, you are stripping away his ability to be the man, be the leader and do what he is supposed to as the male.
2. If you start out being the leader, then chances are, you're going to end up always being the leader, rather than fulfilling the Godly female role of being the pursued! And what girl likes that anyway? Bleh!

Think of it this way: Christ is the bridegroom and we, the church, are His bride. Are we, as the church, the one who first pursued Him? No. Is it us preparing a place for Christ? Far from it! Just as Christ takes care of us, pursues us, leads us, so should the man in relationships.

And one other thing I noticed in my poor decision making. I stopped depending on God and honestly stopped trusting Him that HE would take care of it, that in His own perfect will and timing, would orchestrate all that should happen in order for me to meet my Prince (if God's will is marriage for me).

Now tell me, would you rather settle for your own, most likely, messy and human-like love story... Or would you rather have God, the creator of ALL things, the maker of Heaven and Earth, unravel His own love story for you? If you go with the latter of the two, I promise you won't be disappointed.

You decide.

In the meantime, check out this post by Mary A. Kassian, author of "Girls Gone Wise in a World gone Wild." It talks a little bit more about this issue and if you struggle with it like me.. then it might be helpful! Either way you can check it out by clicking HERE!

This blog post is part of my "Preparing for Prince Charming" series. If you would like to check out some other posts, then I encourage you to look to the right of your screen where you can locate a small section which lists other posts in the series.

Preparing for Prince Charming - Fulfilled in Jesus (Vlog post!)

Hello wonderful people of the internet. :)
I decided to make this one into a vlog.
I hope you enjoy because it took me quite a while to make it just right. ;)

Oh and for all you guys: You may want to watch this one as well.

Other parts of the "Preparing for Prince Charming" Series:
Introduction
Who is She? - It Begins with Surrender
Modest is Hottest!

Preparing for Prince Charming - Who Is She?

She's young and in love with a boy. Completely caught up in a storm of emotion and feelings never felt before. Her mind and heart are consumed by this. Her love for God is fading quickly. Her priorities are rearranging. God is slowly being lowered on her list. She's stuck in sin, in lust, in idolatry. She is slowly more disrespected by this boy, and eventually disrespects herself and the boy in return. She has momentary satisfaction, but no secure joy is present. She feels a void, one that this "love" cannot ever seem to fill. The relationship has taken a sudden turn for the worse. It has ended. She's broken and feels despair. The promises made to her have been broken. Her planned out future is now crushed and quickly fading. She gave away so much emotionally, so much spiritually and physically. "What love is this?" her heart cries out. "That he would not love me so?"

Who is she?

She's young and in love with Jesus. Continually reminded of His love and grace, of His patience and mercy. She is consumed by His goodness and faithfulness, willing to give up everything for her King and Lord. Her love for God is growing rapidly, like never before. Her priorities are rearranging. God is becoming her number one, her all in all. She is fleeing from sin, she is finding freedom through the strength of God. She is respected, and respected by herself. She is understanding what true joy looks and feels like. She is discovering the treasures, eternal treasures, offered by Christ. She does not feel any void, but rather, she is whole and complete because of her Prince, Jesus. Day by day, her relationship with Jesus grows brighter and brighter, deeper and deeper. She trusts in her promise-fulfilling Savior, knowing that He is the same yesterday, today and forever. She no longer plans her steps, but rather, let's the Master Planner be her guide. She has let go of her dreams, her desires, and has placed them at the foot of the cross, so that she may accept whatever plans Jesus has created for her while letting go of her own. She has given away all of her heart, all of her mind, body, and spirit as a living sacrifice to her forever faithful Jesus. "What love is this?" her heart cries out."That He should love me so?"

Who is she?

Both of these are accurate descriptions of me.

Accurate descriptions of me at two very different times in my life.

One being seven months ago, one being now.

Can you take a guess at which description belongs at which time?

I was thinking long and hard about what my first post in this series would be about.
"What is the most important thing in all of what I'm going to write about?" was my thought.

And this is where the struggle begins. For me. For you. For anyone and everyone seeking to follow Jesus.

It's letting go of your dreams, your desires, your wants, your "needs".

It's saying God, whatever your will for me is, then let that will be. "Not my will, but thine, be done."

The whole purpose of this series is to talk about preparing for the guy that God may have in your future. What is not a better way to start out than saying to God that you give this part of your life, (hopefully along with every other part), to Him. If you ever want a beautifully scripted love story, if you ever want a love story more amazing than you can imagine, you need to leave it up to God. Any love story without God's hand is second rate. Let me tell you why.

Let's go back to the first description I listed at the beginning of this post. Take a good long look at what I wrote. Would you want that to be you? I should hope not. Let's take it a step further. Not only was I planning my future according to the way I THOUGHT I wanted my life to be, but I was giving up any plans that God would have for me. I was basically saying, God, my plans are better, and more joyful, and more awesome. But look at what I wrote. Was I joyful? Were my plans really better? They weren't. I was forfeiting any real, true joy. If God were to ever use me for amazing things, I was saying no to them, because I thought I knew better than Him. As days go by, I realize what a blessing it was that God broke that relationship up. It was a path that neither I or the guy truly wanted. It was what our sin and selfishness wanted. It was a path that was leading to destruction, to pain and sorrow. While we thought we were sowing such happiness, such love and future joy, we were wrong. We were only sowing heartache, pain, and regret, and that's exactly what we reaped.

A while back, in one of my blog posts, I wrote a little about a time long ago in my life, when I was several years younger. I had cried out a plea to God that I wanted to live a life fully given to Him, a life that rose above the mediocre Christianity that is so prominent today. I said God, that's not the life I want to live. I want my life to show that I'm giving everything to YOU! I want YOU to be the center of my life, where all my meaning and purpose derives from.

I believe that day was monumental in my life, and now that I think back about it and back on my relationship with the boy, especially when it ended, I realize that God was answering that prayer of mine, even though along with it came heartache and pain. While I wanted to love and be loved by the boy, God knew that that's not what was going to truly fulfill me - because only HE can. And praise God that He intervened when He did. While I suffered so much heartache and regret, I can't even imagine the heartache that God saved me from!

Referring back to the point of this first part in the series, all the while, for the duration of this relationship I had, I had taken away the pen from God. Rather than letting Him write me a beautiful and incredible love story, I was trying to write it myself. And how terribly I was doing! If you ever want to have a truly beautiful love story, you need to let God be the creator of it. You need to let Him have full reign - not just a little or even a lot. He needs to have it ALL!

We constantly try to have control, try to be the leader in this part of our lives. And I understand, it's really hard not to! It's so easy to assume or think that our planning is better, or "so romantic". But when we do this, all we are really doing is settling for less. We are settling for this world's best, and saying that God's best is somehow not as good, or as fulfilling. What falsehood this is!

I can't stress it enough how important it is to trust God in this area of your life. I know the world is telling you that you "need" a boyfriend, or that you may even feel you're not complete without a guy, but both of these are wrong! Christ is and should be your ALL IN ALL!

If you are still gripping onto this part of your life, I encourage you to let go and let God. Sometimes we worry that if we do this, God is going to bring someone who we don't find attractive, or that we don't find interesting, etc. But if you are truly honest with yourself, would God do that? Does God want you to be unhappy? No!

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11

I decided that along with what I write, I'll recommend a helpful book or video or some little tidbit.

If you are really struggling with letting go and letting God then I highly encourage you to read:

"When God Writes Your Love Story" by Eric and Leslie Ludy
If you know me IRL, then feel free to ask to borrow it... :)

And along with that I'll leave you with this:

Click here to hear a beautiful love story told by Leslie Ludy!

"What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ."
Philippians 3:8
Click HERE for the next part in the series! (Modest is Hottest)

Preparing for Prince Charming - An Upcoming Series

Part 1 (Surrendering your Love Story to God) is out! Read it by clicking here!
Part 2 (Modest is Hottest) is out! Read it by clicking here!

Note: This is created by a young lady, with young ladies in mind. In other words, if you're a guy, remember, it's not directed toward you. However, you could very easily morph it a bit to make it applicable.

The other night I was reading Proverbs. I came across Proverbs 12:4,

"A wife of noble character is her husband's crown,
but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones."

This is actually a picture of a fairly new married
couple who are youth leaders at my church. :)
Aren't they just adorable!?

I've certainly read this verse before, but suddenly it struck me as much more powerful. Obviously, I am not a wife, nor do I have a husband. Nevertheless, I do have somewhat of a desire to be married one day, if the Lord wills. Will I be a wife of noble character? Will I be my husband's CROWN? I sure hope so! I bet you would like to as well!

At one point I was in a relationship, which lasted for quite a while. I think I learned more from it after it ended rather than while it was happening. Consequently, my mind is constantly reflecting and revising where I went wrong, what I did right, and what I can do better. With the combination of my thoughts on Proverbs 12:4 and this as well, I've decided to share some of my experience through a series of blog posts over the next five or six weeks. Post will be all about guys and my opinion on waiting, guarding your heart, being treated with respect, purity and much more!

I really believe that guys (along with beauty) are at the top of the list when dealing with the most prominent issues girls deal with everyday. I'm excited to encourage, motivate, and ultimately challenge my fellow sisters in Christ to live a life more pleasing to God, especially in such an area as guys!

It can be difficult, and sometimes we would prefer to "be in control" of this area of our lives, but if we truly have given up our reign over our lives to Christ and desire to live for Him, then it includes this area as well. It takes trust and faith, but God is faithful - yesterday, today and tomorrow! It's something I am continually working on as well... so don't feel alone. :)

I will try to create a post once a week. I don't want it too often, as I want time to create a thoughtful and God pleasing post, as well as time for the reader to reflect and ponder the concept presented. This is just an introduction, so look forward to next week when I create the first actual post!

I'm excited! I hope you are too. :)

Do you have a topic you'd like me to write about in regards to this series? Or maybe you just have a question relating to guys? Feel free to leave a comment or email me at: beautifullyselfless@yahoo.com
I'd love to hear from you!

For All the Single Ladies :)

Hey Beautiful Single Ladies!

Yep. I know, it's Valentine's Day. And you're dateless.

Or are you?

I'm single, but I'm certainly not dateless. And neither are you!

So maybe I don't have this day to celebrate with an earthly guy, but I sure do have it to celebrate with a guy even better - a Heavenly, perfect guy. :) His name is Jesus!

He is my Valentine not only today, but everyday, since before I was born even until after I breathe my last. No, he didn't bring me flowers or chocolates. He gave me something greater!

He gives me His everlasting love and joy. He does something that no earthly guy can do - satisfies me to the core! Through His love and my relationship with Him, I am content and satisfied! No earthly guy can do that! Though maybe an earthly guy can fill me with temporary "contentment" or happiness, eventually even that will fade and the void within my heart will seem just as big as it ever was.

Are you feeling that void today? Are you feeling that spot in your heart that is yearning and seeking for love and joy to fill it up? I ask you to seek out this Valentine of mine - Jesus! You will soon come to the realization that He's been pursuing you all along. :) He's got your heart in His hands and no other love can compare to His! For crying out loud, God IS love!

"....because God is love."

1 John 4:8b

Don't believe me yet? Check out these verses - straight from God himself to You. :)

"The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness."

Jeremiah 31:3

"This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins."

1 John 4:9-10

God loved you and me, so much that He would give up His very own son for us! Isn't that amazing?

And one of my favorites...

"What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?  He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?  Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies.  Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us.  Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?  As it is written:

           “For your sake we face death all day long;
            we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”

  No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.  For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,  neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Romans 8:31-39

Isn't that beautiful? NOTHING can separate us from the love of Christ, nothing! :)

My Challenge to You: Please, PLEASE, do not miss out on the ever-present love of Christ simply because you spend all of today dwelling on the love you think you're missing out on! Whether you're single or not, Valentine's Day doesn't have to be viewed as a depressing and lonely day! Certainly not when you realize the love Christ has for you. :) God is SO good and though you may be single today, that may not be true tomorrow (figuratively speaking). Trust in God, for right now He may be preparing someone just for you. :) Think of that special gentlemen that God is preparing for you to meet someday. Are the few Valentine Day's spent single really worth all that much in comparison to all the Valentine Day's that you may spend with the person God prepared for you? I think not. :) Even if God does not provide that special someone for you - or for me - we can remain joyful and content knowing that we rest in His loving arms. :)

SO, what are you waiting for? Put on a big grin and be thankful for the love you have in Christ, always and forever. :)

P.S. For more on the earthly prince side of things and what you should do while you wait for God to bring him into your life, check out an earlier blog post I created by clicking here!