Why are we holding hundred dollar bills?

There she goes again.
Running after the world's "treasures" rather than her King.
She's stuck believing that what she's running after is more satisfying.
In her hand she holds this 'hundred dollar bill', with her fist clenched tight.
She won't let go, because she's afraid that if she does, she'll lose some of this "joy".

All the while her loving Father and King has been holding a 'thousand dollar bill', willing and wanting to give... if only she would have opened her hand, and let go of what she believed was the best, then she would have known real joy.

At the beginning of this week when I was in the car on my way to work, the Christian radio was on and there was a sermon playing. As I began driving, the man began to describe how some of us live our life as a person who is holding tight to a "hundred dollar bill" and will not open their hand, out of fear and honestly because they are not trusting God. All the while, God is holding a "thousand dollar bill" in His hand, willing to give, but since they are not compliant, He can't.

I had to ask myself if that's me.
It is me.
And sometimes it's you too.

Let me be honest with you.
Yeah, I haven't been posting much lately, and I miss it. A lot.
I could say that I have been busy with work and school ending... but that only extends so far until it becomes an excuse.
I could say that I am suffering from writer's block... but that only extends so far until it becomes another excuse.
The truth is, I've been in a rut lately.

My walk with God has been suffering a bit. My prayer life is pathetic. I'm reading my Bible daily but I'm not soaking it up as much as I normally would. My passionate heart is now reduced to the occasional glistening spark of light and fire. I've been struggling with certain things and sins, which make it all the more worse.

Yeah, I think you know what I mean. We've all been here at least once or twice in our walk with Christ.

So where did I go wrong?
I went wrong when I stopped depending on God and began to depending on myself.
I went wrong when I stopped believing that God satisfies and started believing that the world satisfies.
And all the while, I know somewhere deep inside that I'm in the wrong, that this isn't making me truly joyful... that there must be something better than these 'hundred dollar bills'.
And it's so easy to think that it is God who left me, but no, it is rather me who left Him.

What's truly sad is that there are thousands of Christian's out there living their life the same way, every day.
They're holding onto their wealth, their power, their reputation, their relationships, their security... anything and everything you can think of. Why do we live this way? Why do we hold onto hundred dollar bills rather than letting go and letting God?

And yes, it sounds hypocritical because I do the same things sometimes. But it frustrates me.
It's not the life we were meant to live.
If only we knew and truly believed that there is more than meets the eye.

Psalm 51:10
"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me."


  1. Wow, that pretty much sums it up. Thanks for the post. It's so easy to start depending on oneself and try to look for satisfaction in the world rather then in Jesus Christ. Awesome post, and I'll be praying!

  2. Yes Kimberly! It really is SO easy to depend on the world... and I'd say that's because we're still sinners. But thanks be to God, that He provides a way out. :)

    Keep living for Jesus girl!
    And thanks for praying. :)

  3. This is beautiful..


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